Sunday Open Thread – April 1, 2007

lesbian kissWhat I’m planning on writing about soon:

  • The Fourth Turning: The coming dark and turbulent era, and how Generation Millennium is likely to cope with it (Monday’s post). 
  • The ‘M’ word.
  • Squatter Communities (in struggling nations, which now contain as many as 1.5 billion people) as Model Intentional Communities.
  • Why We Hate: I weigh in on the root causes behind Kathy Sierra’s nightmarish experience and other hate-mongering, on and off the Web.
  • Nowhere to Go: Is the closest experience most of us have to a truly natural life the ‘endless summer’ vacation of our youth?
  • Getting Better: Why are there so few excellent craftspeople, and so few excellent conversationalists? Bad practice?

What I’m thinking about:

Another, simpler way to save the world? I was approached last week by a fledgling biotech consortium that is developing a drug that can be put in all the world’s water supplies, and which will cause everyone in the world to develop an insatiable sexual appetite. The theory is that much of the world’s violence is caused by repressed sexual desire, and if everyone in the world wants it all the time, there won’t be any more repression. And with all the endorphins produced, no one will want to fight anyway.

What’s more, with everyone having sex all the time (an average of 8-10 hours a day according to the simulations and pilot tests), there won’t be time, energy or money for all the activities that are causing global warming. We’ll eat simple, natural foods on the fly, drink lots of water (ingesting even more the drug), sleep ten hours a day blissfully and exhausted, and not do anything else. No consumer products, no new construction, no appliances, no clothes. No driving, so no cars and no CO2 emissions. No more wage slavery since everyone who can will live off their savings and everyone else will demand a large amount to work, since their leisure time will be so much more valuable to them. So only essential services will be staffed at all, and even the people who work for them will only work a few hours a week.

The potential drawbacks to me were unwanted pregnancies and STDs, but the consortium has convinced me that neither is a problem. It seems that, according to studies of males who spent eight hours or more a day having sex, those males end up spreading their sperm so thin that they effectively become sterile after the second day. And computer simulations indicate that although everyone will be having much more sex, on average they’ll be having 75% fewer different partners, geographically less dispersed, so with expected rates of use of condoms, STDs will actually decline 64%.

What they’re working on now are lubricants and balms that will be needed as a result of all the constant sexual marathons, to prevent blistering. The other problem is that there doesn’t seem to be any antidote to it, and since it goes through the digestive system and water treatment systems unaltered it just keeps recycling with no loss of effectiveness. So we need to besure it’s what we want to do before we introduce it.

Sound too good to be true?

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10 Responses to Sunday Open Thread – April 1, 2007

  1. Mel says:

    Happy 1 April to you too.

  2. Dan says:

    Haha, my eyebrows were raised for a while then ;-)

  3. Dave Pollard says:

    I guess this year I wasn’t subtle enough to fool anyone. My April 1 post two years ago got a lot of people into a lather until I fessed up, and some thought it was mean. *sigh* Happy April Fools’ Day everyone.

  4. Bharat says:

    I confess, you got me, Dave ! I was thinking what on earth happened to you, until i saw Mel’s post :) I din’t get my morning coffee yet. That’s my excuse for being little slow ! However, iam looking at this post on April 2nd in India, so am i technically fooled ? :-)

  5. Jon Husband says:

    I’ve been intending (for years now) to invent a spray-on condom that works with surface tension and chemistry to effectively hamper the bilogical processes that result in unwanted pregnancies, whilst eliminating the common complaints about condoms.When you write about hate and the online world, I hope you touch on some of the ways it reflects cultural values and media content. I wonder if such a shitstorm would have happened anywhere other than in the USA ?

  6. Carroll says:

    I’m late too, but I barely got past the photo long enough to read the material — good stuff, Dave. Now I’ll take a look back to the one from two years ago :-)

  7. Pearl says:

    oh you tease! LOL

  8. Tracy Puett says:

    Love it.if we thought this thoroughly about nuclear power, war mongering, driving 1 block to the store, etc… we’d be better off! Thanks for the laugh.

  9. Dave Pollard says:

    Heh…Now I discover that some message board called Coachella Valley Music is in a bit of an uproar over this post, thinking it’s for real. And since it’s locked to registered, approved members only, I can’t point them to the date of the post. Any bets on whether any of the commenters there will catch on?

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