Comments on: The Meaning of “I’m Sorry”

By: vegetable gardening

vegetable gardening — Fri, 28 May 2010 13:08:03 +0000

my God, i thought you were going to chip in with some decisive insght at the end there, not leave it with ‘we leave it to you to decide’.

By: Meditation and Bioenergetics

Meditation and Bioenergetics — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:05:43 +0000

Meditation and Bioenergetics…

Mindfulness (often termed Right meditation) involves bringing one’ s awareness into the present moment (from the past, the future, or some disconnected train of thought). By residing more frequently in the present moment, practitioners begin to see bot…

By: aade

aade — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 13:44:19 +0000

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By: pharmacy tech

pharmacy tech — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:26:20 +0000

What a great resource!

By: John Graham

John Graham — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 00:51:27 +0000

I find the more upset someone is with me, the *less* likely I am to say sorry; sorry can be part of a cycle of abuse – I see more and more the value of NVC’s “juicy” apologies and thankyous. “Sorry” in a way lets us both off the hook, I feel we’re both a bit cheated… instead holding my ground, showing not telling that I’ve heard..showing with my choice of words, paraphrasing, enquirin…silence can only go so far. Then enquiring into whether the other feels heard, etc.

AND

In ho’oponopono, and some other practices I’ve come across, value IS given to an inward gesture of apology and seeking forgiveness (along with love and gratitude) for things that aren’t your fault…situations even with someone you haven’t met. This gets into interesting areas of our (undoubted) shared responsibility for this interconnected world – yet completely without blame. Maybe it’s like we’re taking on all the apology, until the blame/apology is gone. If that kinda makes sense.

John

By: Jon Husband

Jon Husband — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:38:12 +0000

The world needs a better way to say, and show, “I hear, I appreciate, and I care.”

Where might we find, or how might we invent, this better, nonverbal way?

And what else does the world need more of?

Having sex more often with someone(s) we care about would be a good start, no ?

By: pharmacy tech

pharmacy tech — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 08:39:10 +0000

nice post. thanks.

By: Tom Clifton

Tom Clifton — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:01:39 +0000

I have enjoyed these miniature posts. They are coming through clear and concise and without the visual clutter of some of your longer posts. Please consider retaining this format. It is powerful.

By: Tree Bressen

Tree Bressen — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:46:29 +0000

I think emotion is conveyed more by tone of voice than by word choice. “I hear, I appreciate, and I care” sounds clunky to me, but even that, if said with sufficient feeling, might connect. “Meegevoel” is probably better. I’ve long thought we need a different word in English to distinguish between apology and empathy, and that one seems as good as any–thank you.

By: Beth Patterson

Beth Patterson — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 01:58:07 +0000

Wonderful reflections, Dave.
I think we know when someone is sorry–without them saying a thing. As someone has said, even a dog knows the difference in being accidentally tripped over and being kicked. Impact on their body may be the same, but the intent is different and they know it.

Words fail us many times in the deepest of human emotions. Silent tears, holding of a hand, matching the other person’s body language can all be ways of saying, “I’m here, and I’m not abandoning you in your sorrow (whether we’ve inflicted it or not).

I really like your question of what do we need more of. We need more silence of communication. The most powerful retreats I’ve been to have been ones that are at least partially silent so that we can observe the ways we communicate from a different perspective.

Thank you (overused but sincere, at least in this moment!)