Dangerous Little Memes


Bastish Swans
Swans photo by Kevin Cameron
“You’re very quiet these days, Dave.” Three times I’ve heard this recently, from three different friends. It got me thinking about Flemming Funch’s recent comment:
The more in balance we ourselves are, the less we feel a need for correcting everybody else’s worldviews. The more enlightened you yourself are, the less you are obsessed with making everybody else be like [and think like] you.
As I pondered this, I wondered at first whether the silence of those of us who’ve made peace with our own radical, grim worldviews was a bit selfish, or lazy: If we know something important the rest of the world should know, and act upon, isn’t it our duty to stand up and shout it from the rooftops?
 
But then I thought how difficult it is to explain, within the attention span of the average listener, how one arrived at these conclusions. It’s taken me years, and a ton of reading and thinking that the average person has neither the time nor inclination for, to come to my current assessment about how the world works, what the real problems are, and what we should be doing. I’m delighted at the number of people, readers of my work and composers of their own, who seem to be on the same wavelength that I am on, but they’ve reached that point by their own arduous and tortuous journey, and we wouldn’t be nodding at each other’s ideas and comments based on a few articles, no matter how well written or reasoned. We are, all of us who concede that our civilization’s time is probably running out and the best approach now is local, community-based, model-creating actions, not a new political, economic or social movement or revolution, too far ahead to be able to explain to others, easily or simply, how we have arrived at the philosophical space we currently occupy. And we are, as well, too far ahead to go back, or to wait for the rest of the world to catch up.
 
So we shut up and, in the company of those not yet ready for what we believe and what we have to say, we say nothing. We have given up arguing with the deniers, the apologists, the technophiles and rhapsodists who still think our manifest destiny is to be ‘saved’, by our own ingenuity or some higher power. I talk to my children, now in their thirties, about the fact that their suburban lifestyle is utterly unsustainable and headed for a wall, and that our economy is so stretched out and fragile that it’s inevitably going to come flying apart. But while they are attentive and respectful, their hope that I’m dead wrong far outweighs their fear that I’m right. I love them dearly, but they are not yet ready to listen. And my granddaughters, who will bear the brunt of our generations’ irresponsibility, are too busy acquiring the competencies they will need to be distracted by the awful truth of the world they will soon inherit. They know me, already, by reputation, and they will come to me with their questions, when they’re ready.
 
So in the meantime, I’m very quiet these days. I’ve become the person I said those ‘too far ahead’ must become: accepting, responsible (without laying guilt or blame), joyful (alive in the moment) and purposeful (towards a full, natural life). And quiet, reflective, thoughtful, attentive, even patient.
 
As a result, I don’t engage in enough oral conversations on matters that are important, because those to whom I could talk about these things are either (a) not ready or (b) already know. Daniel Quinn’s advice rings truer all the time:

People will listen when they’re ready to listen and not before. Probably, once upon a time, you weren’t ready to listen to an idea than now seems to you obvious, even urgent. Let people come to it in their own time. Nagging or bullying will only alienate them. Don’t preach. Don’t waste time with people who want to argue. They’ll keep you immobilized forever. Look for people who are already open to something new.

When presenting a new idea, you don’t have to have all the answers. It’s better to say ‘I don’t know’ than to fake it. Make people formulate their own questions. Don’t take on the responsibility of figuring out what their difficulty is. We each internalize information differently. If you don’t understand a question, keep insisting they explain it until it’s clear. Nine times out of ten they’ll supply the answer themselves.

Above all, listen. Your close attention is sometimes more important than your articulateness in winning converts. And learning is always a good thing.

So while I’ve become a better listener, my conversational skills (never my strong suit) are not getting much exercise, and without practice they’re not going to improve. Perhaps I should practice talking about things that aren’t important, but my heart’s not in it.
 
Or perhaps I should practice conveying some small, important, easier messages. Jim Kunstler is a master at this, and he’s developed a knack for hammering on some very basic, vital lessons, repeatedly and eloquently, in ways that are memorable. Recently, Sharon Astyk (thanks to Michael Yarmolinsky for the link) picked up on this Kunstler riff:
“It only made me more nervous, because this longing for ‘solutions’ strikes me as a free-floating wish for magical rescue remedies, for techno-fixes that will allow us to make a hassle-free switch from fossil hydrocarbon power to something less likely to destroy the Earth’s ecosystems (and human civilization with it). And I think such a wish is, in itself, at the root of our problem — certainly at the bottom of our incapacity to think clearly about these things. I said so, of course, which seemed to piss off a substantial number of my fellow festival attendees.”

I, like Kunstler, think that the [approach of seeking] “solutions” as “ways to keep things mostly the way they are” is completely mistaken.

This idea is an explosive, innocuous, dangerous little meme that somehow worms its way into your worldview, even if you’re not ready for its implications. Read the rest of Sharon’s article to hear her thinking out loud about these implications (such as the need to pursue a lifestyle of radical simplicity), and then read the offended response from some of her readers who are clearly unnerved by these implications.
 
So I’ve decided to build a collection of explosive, innocuous, dangerous little memes and, whenever I can, drop them gently into conversations about ‘unimportant’ things. Beyond that, I’ll continue to be mostly quiet, and see what happens. Contributions to this deliciously subversive experiment are welcome.
 
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14 Responses to Dangerous Little Memes

  1. David Parkinson says:

    OMG, be sure to report back on how your experiment goes. Probably a good way to get off some pesky invitation lists… maybe *all* invitation lists. Think of the quiet time you’ll be gaining.- David

  2. Adrian Nel says:

    Just wanted to say thank you for your inputs, just know that your message will constantly be reaching new individuals such as myself who are ready and willing to internalise the message and grow in their own ways.I am writing the first of my two majors in my third year at university in South Africa but could not at this point be more excited about the content i have found on this blog and have been busy reading despite the work i have to do, because it is worth it. I look foreward to engaging with this much more once the exams are over. – Adrian

  3. Chris Hardie says:

    Thanks for this, Dave, it really resonates with me. I am always amazed and impressed by the flow of ideas and coherent thoughts coming from you in this medium, but I also find it intimidating as someone who feels naturally quiet and “slow” when it comes to composing my own thoughts to others about, well, “how to save the world.” I hope that it is mostly because I am waiting for the right moment, for a readiness to listen, as you and Quinn describe. But certainly there’s the fear that it’s a form of giving up, giving in to fear and uncertainty, etc. And when too much time passes between those rare occasions when I do use my voice, I worry that I fall out of practice, that my voice becomes a byproduct of silence instead of a mechanism for change and expression.I put up some other thoughts on why I’m quiet in these kinds of contexts:www.chrishardie.com/weblog/archives/2007/03/why-i-am-quiet.htmlThanks again for your thoughts (the ones you share AND the ones you keep to yourself).Chris

  4. Vish Goda says:

    “But while they are attentive and respectful, their hope that I’m dead wrong far outweighs their fear that I’m right. “Absolutely true – and I am sure, we have all been through that phase – always hoping that the messenger is wrong in some way..I don’t know if you are familiar with Buddha’s story or even recently, a great philosopher by the name J. Krishnamurthy or JK as people knew him. Buddha became silent after achieving Nirvana ( or seeing the truth or enlightment) same with JK. Instead of explaining what the ultimate truth was – all you would hear from them was sermonizing people, just to live their lives in content and how to survive through the mundane activities of life. I always used to feel that they were withholding something important from us – and indeed they may well have been – for the same reasons, as you say here. If the audience is not ready – then it really does not matter what you say – they are not going to get it. Those who love you, will still listen, but hoping that you would someday come to your senses and those who don’t care – will just walk away. But let me tell you something – even reading your state of mind, gives me a sense of peace and hope.Best Regards.Vish Goda

  5. Mariella says:

    “The lips of wisdom are closed, except to the ears of Understanding” — The Kybalion…..This hermetic axiom is more than 6000 years old…This little and simple book contains my favorite non ethic memes “to drop gently into conversations about…” ———The one I like best is inside the “polarity principle” and says that “all truths are only half truths”http://www.kybalion.org/kybalion.asp?chapter=X

  6. This is a frustration I regularly share: I have come to this place in life through a series of things I’ve read, experiences I’ve had, and people I’ve met. There is no simple way to summarize this wealth of knowledge and experience in conversation (or even writing, for that matter). In conversation, listeners often are thinking of objections rather than trying to understand, but at least with writing, the readers have a chance to things about the content and digest the material. We might not change someone’s mind with a single blog entry, but a blog entry could contribute to a person’s own journey.I’m looking forward to hearing about your meme experiments. I’ve noticed that my vocabulary has changed over the years (such as how I refer to civilization, nature, and so on), but these clues are probably too subtle for most people to pick up on.

  7. laodan says:

    Oh Oh. Is this about erasing your own contradiction?In an article he wrote a few years ago George Monbiot referred to the silence you write about in this post observing that many well educated people he knows had jumped from the ship of the rat race and were now leading simple lives out of sight from media projectors. Many of them have JK, Lao Tzu, Castaneda and others on their bookshelves and, in all likelihood, would agree with the comments of Vish Goda.Change is our reality and we are no more than particles on its waves. The art of life (wisdom) is to know and accept our limitations and then to surf those waves of change… The wind that blows the waves forward does not come out of the blue and knows about its direction. Humans seem not to know about that. Driven by their ideologies they toil at changing the wind’s direction. Sisyphus. “Those who love you, will still listen, but hoping that you would someday come to your senses…”. I’m one of those who continue to read your posts hoping you come to your senses. It seems you are on the right way.Bestlaodan

  8. Jordan Mechano says:

    This is EXACTLY how I feel. Wow. Thank you for the post.

  9. Ed Diril says:

    It is certainly not about forcing our own beliefs down someone else’s throat. That approach simply creates more resistance. OTOH, there certainly are absolute truths with which we either align or not and we face the consequences of our alignment.My answer is that when you are able to identify the absolutes and can articulate them, the ones who need to find them will find them one way or another so long as you make your material available. You cannot pick who these people will be and how they’ll find their way to your material, but they will. Just like you somehow found your way to the books you read and the ideas you were infected with; and the way your readers found their way to this blog.All you have to do is make it available and easy to reach. Blogs are wonderful for this. That’s why I started my blog too.

  10. Janene says:

    Hey Dave –You are reading my mind, again :-)And in this case, it is a great thing, because I often feel guilty that I am not able to put more (effective) effort into spreading alot of these ideas. Sure, I debate a fair amount with others ‘already on the path’ but I find it extremely difficult to even think about starting a conversation with someone that is not here yet. But I *do* drop a lot of little paradigm ‘tweaks’ into conversations. As silly as it is, your thoughts make me feel more…. comfortable with that behavior. Janeneps Hi Chris! Good to see you out and about. Hope all is well :-)

  11. lugon says:

    What would such a set of “dangerous little memes” look like? Each is supposed to be disruptive, obvious and small. Small like a point that can take you to different lines. (Some will follow some lines, others will follow others.)I don’t know how to start, so I’ll grab the meme you suggest and look at it for clues. You say the [approach of seeking] “solutions” as “ways to keep things mostly the way they are” is completely mistaken.Here you simply highlight something the other person has implied, and needle it dead without further explanation.So maybe it’s a matter of first looking at other people’s (and our own’s) “lethal memes” and then suggesting there are alternatives?Some lethal memes: “thou shalt conquer the Earth”, “animals and humans” (I mean the division) … what else?

  12. Mariella says:

    …and what about an “anti meme” : Thou shalt not conquer the Earth…. ¿Could we be able to validate both meme and anti meme together at the same time?

  13. Kyle Schuant says:

    I don’t think Sharon Astyk’s readers had an “offended response” about the ideas of “radical simplicity.” The issue was simply some bad, imprecise writing. She said we should become “peasants”, but didn’t specify what exactly that meant. As a result, some readers talked about a French farmer in the modern day, while others talked about Kalahari Bushmen. These are VERY different lifestyles, and need to be distinguished. One is happy but unsustainable, the other miserable but sustainable; surely it is not beyond human ingenuity, and good husbandry of resources, to find a way which is both happy and sustainable. We could look for example at Cuba. While they are not sustainable, using as they do 3 barrels of oil per person annually, since most of that goes to power generation, they could be sustainable, using solar and wind, and perhaps some ethanol from all that sugar cane they grow. Whereas the USA or Australia’s 24 barrels per person annually certainly could not be. Cuba also produces a lot of its food in the cities. Food production has become for them like child care is for us – most people do some at home, though limitations of time and space mean they sometimes pay others to do it a bit; some do none, others do it all themselves. The lifestyle of Cubans is not as materially rich as in the West, but it is not what comes to mind when someone says, “peasant”, which to most people will mean, “someone living on their land, with no power or running water, only just producing enough food to survive.” I don’t believe we’re dooomed to that. I also think that it’s perhaps a bit soon for you to assume you’ve reached enlightenment, O Buddha :p You have a very good and significant PART of the truth, but not it all.

  14. Hi Dave, I’m new to your blog.Here’s a dangerous little meme: blessed be those who live in the suburbs, because they already have rain gutters to collect rainwater, and because they have some yard area which they can convert to square foot gardens and solar strawbale greenhouses to feed themselves and others. And build a double hole composting outhouse. rsvp,Frank Michael

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