Sunday Open Thread – April 15, 2007

Posted on April 15, 2007 by Dave Pollard

rlj pirates
Image: Album cover of Rickie Lee Jones’ Pirates CD

What I’m planning on writing about soon:

  • Are We Violent By Nature?: Are we more like chimps or bonobos?
  • Temper Temper: Keeping it under control
  • A short story about the difference and overlap between male and female conceptions of romance

The short story may take a few days, so if posting is sporadic this week, that’s why.

What I’m thinking about:

Taking Sides: What can we do when we love two people who hate each other, and force us to take sides, to choose between them? Whether because of divorce, a feud, or a rivalry, why can’t people just let us love people they hate? And even if they do, what do you do when you’re hosting anevent and you want to invite them both?

What’s driving you crazy these days?
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3 Responses to Sunday Open Thread – April 15, 2007

  1. Mariella says:
    April 16, 2007 at 07:31

    you want to invite them both?…I´ve been on this kind of situation before: invite them both… tell each one what you feel about him/her and that you would love to have them in the event and that you hope that “X”´s (the hated person) prescence will not stop her/him from coming.You can sugest them to to figure out “that prescence” as a “void”, inexisting… and naturally and conflictless ..stay appart. (reframe the hate feeling to a positive one reffered to you and the moment you are living and want to share). It worked for me. All my divorced friends keep coming to my invitations and little by little tension eases….it turned to be a good space for learning… reframing… letting life flow…. you will give “movement” to those hate feelings…. hate feelings do not like to be touched… go ahead touch them…. without really touching them (you are not getting involved in reasons… or personal issues… it is only an invitation).

  2. John Powers says:
    April 18, 2007 at 20:58

    I don’t have suggestions about the relationship problem, but like you I hate taking sides most of the time. I’m just honest when asked it X will be coming and let people make up their own minds.Here’s a link you migh tbe interested in http://transitionculture.org/2007/04/18/telling-the-story-of-energy-descent/ it seemed a clever way of engaging a community, in this case Totnes in southern England, in envisioning the future.

  3. Dave Pollard says:
    April 22, 2007 at 09:42

    Mariella, John: Thanks for the advice. I’ve decided to try honesty and hope for the best. The worst that can happen is that I’ll lose two friends, but if they’re like that, is it such a loss?

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