I‘m sure just about every reader of this blog has either experienced first hand, or known and loved someone who has experienced, that feeling of powerlessness and anxiety that comes when the Noonday Demon exerts an influence over everything you/they do. You can tell yourself that what you’re feeling is irrational, you can list and analyze what you’re stressed about and appreciate that there’s no point in getting dragged down, but it happens nonetheless. The Demon poisons you from inside.Two years ago when I was last going through a period of great anxiety, I wrote the poem below. I’m feeling much the same way now, so I thought I would reprise it as this week’s Friday Flashback. I offer it not in a search for sympathy, but as an explanation to those I love for why I seem suddenly testy, apprehensive and disengaged, and as an expression of understanding for others who knowthese feelings all too well. See you on the other side.
three am: so i get up and stare out the back window: i put on my snowsuit and trudge out in the middle of our ‘toboggan hill’ i stop, plunk down in the snow other than the wind i hear only these days i worry about everything: i worry about keeping things together: we don’t dare show who we really are i worry about not knowing what i’m meant to do hah! yet still i wait here, paralyzed “the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting”, i worry about all the creatures in the world it is for those unknowing, all of them, and us, who can’t imagine i worry for the generation after next: the snow’s picked up so what terrible knowledge intervened why can we no longer hear thanks to fellow Slogger meg at blogcabin for the inspiration |
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the answer my friend….is blowing in the wind….
Don’t you dare give up Dave Pollard. I believe in u.
Dave, after a long hiatus from your blog I find this post touching me. Thanks for that.Having just brought a small puppy into my home my wife and I are finding out how dogs live: emotionally and in the moment. You cannot hide your feelings from a dog. It is a challenge to face such non-judgmental exposure. Your post here is similar for me. Generative.Be well,Bill