Not Knowing What We Need

batOne of the challenges with complex systems is that understanding of the problem and solution co-evolve — you can’t determine root causes, you can’t identify all the variables that affect the outcomes, and you can’t predict what will happen. That makes it hard to ‘solve’ problems like global warming, world poverty, violence, corporatism, unaffordable health care and dysfunctional education systems.

What makes it even harder is that we often don’t know what we need — what the ‘future state’ would look like if we ‘solved’ the problem. When it comes to global warming, for example, some see the ideal future as one of strict conservation, while others see it as one of miraculous new technologies that allow energy consumption to increase forever. It’s hard to figure out how to get there when you can’t even agree on the destination.

The School for Designing a Society focuses the attention of activist groups on collectively answering the questions “What are you for?” and “What would you consider a desirable society?”, questions that identify the destination, the future state, before attempting to prescribe a way to get there.

Matt Dineen at Passions and Survival interviewed the School’s ecological design instructor, Rob Scott. He said that the school’s objective is to go beyond available alternatives. In our modern world of horrific imaginative poverty, solutions are presented to us as dichotomies: Party A or Party B, socialism or capitalism, SUV or hybrid, Brand X or Brand Y. All these ‘choices’, which are not really choices at all, have the effect of focusing us on the available alternatives, and precluding consideration of other possibilities that don’t currently exist, but could exist.

As globalization succeeds in McDonaldizing the planet, these limited available alternatives become ubiquitous, and it becomes harder and harder to find, or imagine, additional possibilities: a society without political parties, a gift economy, a world where cars are unneeded, buying NoLogo products from people we know and trust.

By starting with an imagined Future State, one not directly or obviously connected to the Current State, we open ourselves up to additional possibilities, beyond available alternatives.

The problem is, we are now so rooted to the Current State and its limited choices that in imagining the Future State we subconsciously start with the Current State and linearly, incrementally design the Future State from there. In so doing, we short circuit the innovation process.

Because we have forgotten how to imagine, we no longer know what is possible, and therefore, we no longer know what we need. The iPod was the product of imagination — if you asked people in the days of vinyl and cassette tapes how they would like the distribution of recorded music improved, you would have received responses anchored to the Current State of the time: make records unscratchable; make cassettes that you don’t have to turn over to play the other side.

So the School is a great idea. But only if its enrollees either haven’t forgotten how to imagine, or have relearned to do so. My guess is that imaginative people are a tiny minority, and in the fracas of a brainstorming session with the huge majority of unimaginative people, they would be drowned out. They wouldn’t be heard. The vast majority could not imagine what they were talking about. Suppose it was you, in 1970, surrounded by a pile of disks and people invested hugely in them, imagining a future where all music could be downloaded free over the airwaves, in seconds, onto a device that would hold your whole music collection inyour breast pocket. Can you hear the laughter?

How do we re-learn to imagine, so we know what we really need? I’ve already written about that.

Category: Innovation
Posted in Working Smarter | 4 Comments

Hanna

paris sidewalk cafe
“I want it all”, Hanna told him.

He’d been walking back to his hotel after his conference presentation and decided to stop at one of Paris’ renowned sidewalk bistros. He’d found one that looked attractive. As he walked along the row of seats and tables a striking woman in a trim burgundy suit followed him with her gaze. When he turned his head to look at her, she raised her head and looked directly into his eyes, not averting her stare for a moment. He stared back, with a slight smile at her forwardness. He’d discovered that Parisians are fond of checking each other out, especially in public places like the brasseries and the Mˆ©tro, so he didn’t think this terribly unusual. He stopped walking. There were few empty seats in the bistro, and as he walked back towards her, the woman, still gazing right into his eyes, nodded towards the seat beside her, inviting him to sit.

She offered him her hand and they introduced themselves. They spoke French. She said she was Austrian, from a village in the mountains. Her long wavy hair was jet black. They explained what had brought them to Paris, and then moved the discussion to philosophy, and life goals. Hanna spoke exuberantly about her intentions in life:

“I want it all. Love, friendship, adventure, discovery, fun. I can’t, won’t be tied down. It’s not that I’m extravagant or unwilling to take responsibility. My ecological footprint is very small. I own next to nothing. I owe nothing. I don’t drive. I care about the planet, and about people, especially people who are responsible, who care.”

He asked her about her expensive-looking wardrobe, where she lived, and what she did for a living.

“I have three outfits, casual, that I made myself, that go with me everywhere. If I need something different, like this suit, I buy it in a thrift store and then, when I’m done with it, I donate it back, or give it to someone who needs it. My home, near a small village in Austria, is a one-room cottage in a forest. I sold the property to the government for one euro, on condition it never be developed and that I be able to use the cottage for free during my lifetime. It’s powered by wind and solar power, and it’s more or less empty. When I’m home I sleep there, prepare simple meals from local foods, write, paint, sculpt, weave, play music, and do research. But I’m a nomad, I’m comfortable anywhere and I like to move about and spend time with the many people I love, who are all over the planet. So I speak at conferences for the cost of transportation to the conference site. Most places I go I know people I can stay with, and I give them gifts of my artworks in thanks for their hospitality. If I don’t know anyone, I just make a new friend when I arrive. It’s fun.”

She asked him where he was staying, and when he told her, she asked if she could spend the night, and the one following, with him. He suggested it might be awkward, since the room had only one bed. She smiled at him wryly.

“I was hoping we’d make good use of the bed. I love making love, with people who are intelligent, sensitive, and kind. Don’t get me wrong, though. It’s not because you’re putting me up for the night. I’d offer to make love with you even if I couldn’t stay the night. I want to do a sketch of you, and that’s what I offer you for your accommodation. My offer of love is free.” She smiled again.

They talked for awhile about how to make the world a better place. He told her he had given up on trying to bring about systematic change, and instead intended to create models of a better way to live: intentional communities, natural enterprises, self-organized collaborative events. She liked the approach. She was a model herself, he discovered, of living light upon the land, of the gift economy.

They ate vegan food, watched the people, laughed, poked gentle fun at each other. Then, at sunset, she took his hand and said simply “time to make love”.

She was an expert lover. She teased him for hours, not letting him climax, while she taught him exactly how to please her, over and over. They took a bath together, and later a shower, in between rounds, and by the time they were sated it was the middle of the night. He was ready to sleep but she dragged him outside to show him Paris at night, when almost everyone was in bed. They walked for about an hour, holding hands, singing quietly, sharing confidences, laughing, crying. They went back to his hotel room and made love one more time, gently, slowly, by candlelight, and then slept in each other’s arms until noon.

They made love again when they awoke, and then Hanna gave him a speech she had clearly recited often. She lay on his shoulder, caressing his chest, and said:

“Tomorrow I leave for Stuttgart, for a conference on collaboration and innovation. You are really on to something, you know, with your talk about Love and Conversation being the keys to making the world a better place. But I’m not so sure about intentional communities, or about physical communities at all. The world has changed, and you can’t re-isolate people in communities, even if it may be for their own good. I have four lovers in Stuttgart and I am looking forward to being with them all. I will tell them about what I have learned from you, and from talking with you. I will probably pick up some new ideas and understanding from them, which I’ll relay to you, the next time we meet. And we will meet again, in Rio, in January, when we’re both at the same conference, and, if you’re up for it, at my place in April, as we discussed. I just want you to understand that I love you, but I also love many others, and I have to be free to spend time with them too. You understand? We can have a lot more fun until I go tomorrow, but no sad goodbyes, no tears, right?”

He was quiet for a moment, and then nodded, smiling. She went on:

“You should try doing what I do. Sell everything you have and become a Love Nomad like me. Make your ‘intentional community’ the whole world, all the people who ‘get’ what you’re saying or who, at least, because they’re intelligent and sensitive and caring and imaginative, could get what you’re saying. And just have fun loving them, in the way they want and deserve to be loved. And conversing with them, spreading the ideas and information and insights you have around, like a virus.”

All that day they explored Paris, and each other. They returned to the bistro where they’d met for dinner, and Hanna, using the same ‘eye trick’ she’d used on him, invited a wildly-dressed Parisian woman named Mireille to join them for dinner. That night was a threesome, of passion, and of conversation about art. Mireille was a performance artist, and she had adorned her body with tattoos, piercings and temporary drawings about Gaia, making a virtual canvas of her body. Hanna drew a sketch of him on Mireille’s shoulder as her two new lovers were sleeping in each other’s arms, and when she rose in the morning she left them a note, with her cell phone number, that read:

“I give you to each other, in love.”

Image is from parlerparis.com. The character of Hanna is based on a polyamorous woman I knew many years ago, who at that time was living with five lovers. I’d like to believe this is what she might have grownup to become.

Category: Short Stories
Posted in Creative Works | Comments Off on Hanna

Saturday Links of the Week — February 16, 2008

allony sunset by aboslutely nothing
photo: Allonby Sunset by UK photographer Tristan Campbell at Absolutely Nothing

Love Conversation Community:

Cassanda relates a lovely conversation with a woman who works with the dying.

Communicatrix relates advice to young women reaching the age of majority.

Dustin Rivers explains how the industrial education model helped damage indigenous culture, and why the unschooling, natural in-community education model of aboriginal peoples was so much more effective. Thanks to Chris for the link.

Eco-News:

Building with Garbage: Check out the new film Garbage Warrior, about eco-architect Mike Reynolds’ fully sustainable buildings made entirely from the refuse of modern civilization. Thanks to Michael Serres for the link.

Dubai’s Eco-Catastrophe: Emulating the extravagant waste of Las Vegas, Dubai’s obscenely rich oil magnates are creating an energy-squandering playground and retreat for the obscenely rich around the world. These pictures of growth run amok are unforgettable. Page takes a long time to load because of allthe pictures. Thanks to Charles Hall for the link.

Letting-Oneself-Change, Becoming a Model:

Evelyn suggests we each need to become the person we desperately seek (consistent with my message earlier this week that we need experimenters and not leaders), and also proposes that it’s time to start adopting and funding (through microgrants) good artists again.

Jason at Anthropik is struggling with his personal rewilding project, but has some nifty new natural walking shoes and is using a virtuous cycle approach to turning things around.

Urban designer Kate McMahon is trying to make her own neighbourhood of Melbourne ecologically sustainable.

Personal Stuff:

Discussion on Polyamorism: Mia’s latest post on our joint blog is on some of the conversation we’ve had with others on Intentional Community and polyamorism in particular.

Recognition for HtStW: My blog has been nominated by Niall Cook for an Enterprise 2.0 award.

My Whereabouts: I’ll be at the Northern Voice social networking conference in Vancouver on Friday & Saturday (Feb. 22-23). If you’ll be there and want to meet up, e-mail me.

Posted in Our Culture / Ourselves | Comments Off on Saturday Links of the Week — February 16, 2008

Friday Flashback: KM 0.0 — A Pragmatic Approach to Social Networking and Knowledge Management for Business

For fifteen years, since the discipline called ‘Knowledge Management’ was invented, my ideas on how best to accomplish its lofty goals (improving front-line worker productivity and innovation through better knowledge-sharing and collaboration) have evolved continuously.

Now. at last, I think I have a framework that applies to just about any organization. It’s pragmatic, and less ambitious than many such frameworks. It responds to what I keep hearing from people on the front lines of organizations — it addresses the real problems that most people have finding and using information effectively. It is focused on context and connectivity rather than on content and collection, on personalization and engagement and enablement rather than monster repositories and websites.

Two months ago I summarized this, and now, whenever I am asked to speak about KM or social networking (which is often), this is the gist of what I tell them. Since it’s short, I’m repeating the whole article rather than linking back to it:

—————–

KM 1.0: all about content and collection KM 0.0 (PKM): all about context and connection
content management, search and delivery platform large centralized just-in-case content repositories of ‘submitted’ ‘reusable’ documents with standardized taxonomy and search tools personal content management tools – everyone manages their own content, just-in-time, harvestable
content publishing, browsing and information flow large complicated centrally-managed intranets for ‘publishing’ and ‘browsing’ content; main information flows are top-down instruction (policies, directories), bottom-up submission RSS-publishable and subscribable personal web pages, blogs and small-group-created wikis; main information flows are what matters to each person, peer-to-peer
communities communities of practice – centrally established and managed, content-focused communities of passion – self-managed and ad hoc, conversation-focused 
content format paradigm “best practices’ (stripped down) stories (detailed, context-rich); visualizations
public presence and
‘marketing’
public websites (boundaries established by firewall) everything inside is open and shared outside unless it’s illegal to do so (community of the whole world)
research licensed databases purchased from outside info-professionals (disintermediation) high-value, high-meaning RSS-subscribable content produced by internal info-professionals (reintermediation):

  • awareness alerts (what’s new?), 
  • research (what does it mean?), 
  • guidance (what should we do about it?)
connectivity enablers e-mail
  • IM
  • virtual meeting tools (desktop video, other simple ubiquitous real-time tools)
  • organization and facilitation of real & virtual community-self-initiated self-managed events, including Open Space hosting & facilitation
  • people-finding and community-creating tools
what’s served up on the public website what the company wants you to know: press releases, sales material what the customer wants to know: multimedia interactive self-assessment tools

In a recent post where I waxed rhapsodic about how the best approach to everything could be reduced to three magic words (love, conversation, community), I presented this one-sentence summary of how this might apply to knowledge management (KM):

KM is simply the art enabling trusted, context-rich conversations among the appropriate members of communities about things these communities are passionate about.

In another recent post I laid out how the work of information professionals is now being done in (what I consider) leading organizations, around five key types of deliverables: awareness products, research products, guidance products, self-assessment and connectivity tools, and facilitated events.

At the request of several readers, I’ve pulled this all together in the table above into a framework for what some have called KM 2.0, but which I prefer to call KM 0.0, because it’s getting back to the roots of why and how people share what they know. It could also be called PKM — Personal Knowledge Management — because it’s about self-managed content and peer-to-peer connectivity.

I think the yellow column above — the well-worn and failed traditional approach to KM that many of us tried to institute in the 1990s, based on content and collection — is pretty self-explanatory, and depressing as a legacy. The green column above is slowly evolving in many organizations, but not because knowledge ‘leaders’ and managers have realized its potential. Rather, the emerging KM 0.0 is being instituted by people on the front lines and at the edges of organizations — working around the established systems and security standards of the organization.

Most of this KM 0.0 stuff is inexpensive and ubiquitous, so enterprising information and IT professionals can introduce it without having to get permission and resources from management. Here’s a walk-through of what it comprises:

  1. Personal content management tools — everyone manages their own content, just-in-time, harvestable. Forget the giant central content repositories. KM 0.0 focuses on the stuff on everyone’s personal (mostly portable) devices. Instead, teach your front-line people how to effectively manage and organize this personal content (using Google desktop etc.), so it complements their memory and replaces their filing cabinets. Then, show them how, by saving this personal content in a ‘public’ partition on their hard drives, it can be harvested by others, just in time. So when someone in your organization (or even outside it) is looking for know-how, know-what, or know-who, their search will scan all the ‘public’ content in all the hard drives of the company, and not only return the relevant content, but the contact information of the people who authored it, and who can provide context for it.
  2. RSS-publishable and subscribable personal web pages, blogs and small-group-created wikis — Give everyone in the organization a very simple, intuitive set of tools for authoring their own individual (blog-type tools) and small group (wiki-type tools) content. So everyone becomes a publisher and, with RSS technology, everyone (authorized) can subscribe to everyone else’s content. Each person gets their own personal daily ‘newspaper’ of articles authored by the people whose content they want to read. So instead of forcing information flows to conform to the hierarchy of the organization chart, you enable anyone to send and receive information they care about.
  3. Communities of passion — self-managed and ad hoc, conversation-focused. So no matter who you are, you can set up a community yourself on any subject, and invite anyone else with passion for that subject, and in moments be up and connected with that community, running it yourselves, with the features you want, not the company ‘standard’. 
  4. Stories and visualizations as the principal formats of content — Instead of context-stripped ‘best practices’, authors are encouraged to tell stories and provide anecdotes that provide the detail and context for understanding what the information really means. And information professionals add further value by using visualizations to condense volumes of data and text into forms that the human mind more easily comprehends.
  5. Open access: everything inside the organization is open and shared outside unless it’s illegal to do so. By participating in a community of the whole world, you open your organization to outside innovation, to open source resources, to peer production with customers.
  6. Reintermediation: High-value, high-meaning RSS-subscribable content is produced by internal info-professionals who know how and why the people of the company use information, instead of buying and licensing it from outside ‘experts’. Much of that IP-produced content is in three formats, to answer three ubiquitous questions about knowledge:
    • awareness alerts (what’s new that’s important to our organization?)
    • research (what does it mean?)
    • guidance (what should we do about it?)
  7. A simple set of connectivity enablers: Going far beyond one-size-fits-none e-mail, the connectivity suite includes
    • IM — for real-time canvassing and impromptu connection
    • virtual meeting tools — desktop video and other simple ubiquitous real-time tools to provide ‘virtual presence’ without the cost and time needed to travel to meet face-to-face
    • organization and facilitation of real & virtual, community-self-initiated, self-managed events that help communities self-organize, including Open Space hosting & facilitation
    • people-finding and community-creating tools
  8. Public site geared to what the customer wants to know: Featuring multimedia interactive self-assessment tools and other resources customers want and can really use, instead of the flat sales-and-marketing material transcribed from company brochures

These eight components of KM 0.0 / PKM are the antithesis of what most large organizations provide as Knowledge Management resources. Most of them are quite simple and inexpensive to implement. They simply enable trusted, context-rich conversations among communities that care.Imagine that.

Posted in Working Smarter | Comments Off on Friday Flashback: KM 0.0 — A Pragmatic Approach to Social Networking and Knowledge Management for Business

What Can We Do to Reduce Animal Cruelty?

seal hunt
Hardly a day goes by without another gruesome story of cruel atrocities against animals. The latest revelations (don’t click this link if you’re squeamish) about the horrific suffering inflicted on animals transported live huge distances in tiny cramped stifling hot spaces without food or water (they have to be alive when slaughtered to conform to the grotesque, painful, ritualistic slaughtering standards of the world’s fastest-growing religions) come as no surprise to animal welfare activists.

Massive, monstrous factory farms that reduce living, feeling creatures to milk and meat machines, in lifelong misery and suffering. Slaughterhouses whose activities are so heartless and barbaric that a single visit can leave you traumatized for life. Testing labs that profit by torturing animals because it’s cheaper than other methods of demonstrating product safety. Puppy mills (many run by ‘quaint’ religious groups) that breed sickly animals non-stop under unimaginably dreadful conditions, just for profit. And some of the animal cruelty designed to procure organs, tusks and other parts from (often endangered) species as quack cures and health enhancers defies description. It just goes on and on.

Regular readers know that I’ve largely given up on political solutions to complex problems. There is just too much money greasing too many greedy political palms to ever permit the passage and enforcement of any kind of reasonable animal welfare regulations. So what can we do?

First, we can refuse to buy the products of companies that profit from animal cruelty. Become a vegetarian or a vegan. If you can’t do that, buy only locally-produced, free-range meats from small farms whose owners you know personally. It’s good for the local economy, for your health, and for the animals. And boycott farms that produce, and restaurants that serve, meats from confined milk-only-diet baby animals (e.g. veal).

When you buy health, personal and chemical products, buy only those clearly certified as not tested on animals. The standards are poor, inconsistent and sloppily regulated, but they’re a start. Or make your own products from simple natural ingredients (saves money too).

Never buy animals from puppy mills or pet stores. If you are looking for a pet, please select one from an animal shelter. And make sure it’s neutered. If you choose a cat, please do the birds a favour and keep it indoors. And please don’t keep animals caged in small spaces or tied up. Confinement is crueler than pain.

We’ll never get the laws changed, or the religious practices changed. People have been trying to reform animal cruelty laws and religious practices for centuries, with virtually no success. Of course we should keep trying, and identify and vote for candidates who take no money from Big Agribusiness or Big Pharma. But political activism will never be enough.

What we can do is starve the organizations that profit from animal cruelty — factory farms, slaughterhouses, Big Agribusiness and Big Pharma, pet stores, fur merchants, irresponsible restaurants, cosmetic, health product, personal care and chemical companies, and transportation companies that ship live animals.

Only when enough of us buy intelligently (or, more accurately, stop buying ignorantly) will we have enough of an effect to make animal cruelty unprofitable. And onlywhen it becomes unprofitable will it stop.

Posted in Collapse Watch | 6 Comments

We Need Experimenters, Not Leaders


power of ideas
For the last eight years, the US treasury has been plundered by the thieves of the Bush Administration, doling out handouts to corporatist friends (and undoing legislation and refusing to enforce what little corporatist regulation remains) in return for campaign contributions, future jobs and other favours. Bush has pursued an unjustifiable private and personal ideological war that has cost a million lives and a trillion dollars. The US is now technically bankrupt, public services have been hollowed out to the point they are dysfunctional to non-existent, and the country’s reputation internationally is in tatters.

This is the legacy of a regime that promised a new form of leadership both before and after 9/11. There could be no better demonstration that relying on self-serving and self-proclaimed ‘leaders’ to do things for you is a ruinous path.

Yet what are Americans rallying around now? Different self-serving and self-proclaimed leaders ambiguously promising ‘change’. How far will the cult of leadership in the US (and it’s spreading worldwide, like a toxic disease) go?

In business, ‘leaders’ are paid obscene sums of money (tens to hundreds of millions of dollars each per year) to offshore jobs, reduce quality and services, close down operations, merge with other organizations with their own self-serving ‘leaders’, and otherwise cripple the US economy in the interests of ‘maximizing shareholder value’ (no accident that these ‘leaders’ are paid mostly in shares, so it’s their value they’re maximizing).

Millions blindly follow religious ‘leaders’ who preach hatred and suppression of basic human rights and freedoms, and the popularity of such ‘charismatic’ despots is growing by leaps and bounds.

Drug addled professional actors, singers and athletes attract groupies and awards and fortunes and the adoration and emulation of millions, as part of the celebrity leadership cult, and this popularity can often be parlayed into political or business ‘leadership’.

And universities charge extravagant sums for ‘executive’ programs that presume to teach ‘leadership and management’, while meanwhile, because of a desperate shortage of entrepreneurial skills, most graduates can look forward to a life of wage slavery working for these ‘executives’, many of whom had their ‘leadership’ positions bought for them by rich parents.

As I reported a couple of years ago, Peter Block, one of the founders of the discipline of Organizational Development, thinks that, in business at least, it’s absurd:

“Leadership” is a well-developed misconception. The dominant belief is that the task of leadership is to set a vision, enroll others in it and hold people accountable through measurements and rewards. It’s a patriarchal system used to create high performance through centralization of power. Most leadership training focuses on how to be a good parent. We teach how to “develop” people, as if they were ours to develop. We do a lot to create the notion that bosses are responsible for their people. All that parenting has the unintended side effect of creating deep entitlement and having employees stay frozen in their own development. Most management techniques are ways of controlling people so they feel good about being controlled.

These are the most common questions I get from my clients. “How do I get people to ’Ķ” and you can fill in the blank after that. My favorite is, “How do I get people on board with my ideas/visions/whatever.” My response is, “How do you know you’Äôre in the boat?” These are the wrong questions. They’re the questions of a parent about recalcitrant children. As soon as you start the sentence, you’re acting as a sovereign. All of these are components of the patriarchal way of thinking that dominates our culture. Put this in boldface: They are not your children. Once you realize that, real engagement is possible.

We don’t need ‘leadership’ or ‘leaders’. What we need is experimenters.The way to create working models that work better than the dysfunctional ones we have now, in a complex system where no one is in control and no one has the answers, is to try things. A lot of small-scale experiments, bold, different, even wacky. And then compare notes with each other about what works (and why) and what doesn’t (and why not).

That will allow the successful experiments to spread, virally, and be adapted and improved. Eventually, bottom-up, it will allow us to create decentralized community-based self-managed political, economic, educational, and social systems that actually work well, for each community.

Unlike most ‘leaders’, experimenters are:

  • collaborators: they don’t do anything alone
  • facilitators and coaches: they help others to learn and discover how to do things better
  • demonstrators: more than just communicators, they show how it works and what it means
  • ideators: they imagine what’s possible, and tell stories to bring those ideas to life
  • innovators: they take those good ideas and realize them, make them real
  • researchers: they study what’s been done, in nature, by other cultures and communities, and what’s needed, and spread that knowledge
  • connectors: they bring people together who were meant to work together
  • model-builders: they design and build something that can be understood, replicated and adapted by others
  • founders: they start new things — enterprises, communities, different ways to do important things; they build something new rather than criticizing what exists

That’s what we need. We won’t find it in one or a few people. We have to find it within all of us. To do that we have to give up on ‘leaders’ and take charge of our own lives, collaboratively, as peers. Who’s ‘leading’ in government, in business, in religious and educational and social organizations doesn’t matter.

The power is in all of us.

Posted in Working Smarter | 10 Comments

Twelve Things I Love About You


valentine from doggybloggy
Lately I’ve been thinking about the qualities that the people I love have in common. And about the qualities that I look for in prospective collaborators and partners in various ventures — projects, enterprises, communities. And about the qualities I treasure in a friend. And about the qualities I try to exemplify myself, in practicing to Let-Myself-Change to be a better model, in trying to make the world a better place..

It turns out they’re all the same qualities.

  1. Intelligence: A combination of good critical thinking skills and excellent instincts (and a willingness to trust them). Smart people are fun, and sexy.
  2. Emotional Strength: Freedom from neediness — it’s OK to love attention and appreciation, but when someone can’t live without constant external validation, they can become unbearable. If you want others to love you, you have to love yourself first.
  3. Attention Skills: Emotional sensitivity, perceptiveness, awareness, openness, capacity to listen, to focus the senses on what is really happening, and collaboratively figure out what it all means. I know people who live their whole lives in their heads, and others who live in an emotional cocoon; they need to learn to get out more, to get outside themselves.
  4. Honesty: About what you love, what you can’t stand, what you believe in, and what you have doubts about. Just get it all out there. But be positive — don’t criticize, offer constructive ideas and alternatives. And never, ever lie (that includes saying nothing when there is something that must be said).
  5. Communication Skills: Ability to articulate concisely and precisely what you know and what you think and what you love, orally and in writing (and to show, not just tell).
  6. Learning Skills: The self-directed ability to discover, access and process useful information (captured, experiential, and in conversation). This is the key to self-management and independence and making yourself a useful and valuable partner.
  7. Passion and Responsibility: Belief that what’s possible can happen, and energy and a sense of responsibility directed to a shared purpose. 
  8. Curiosity, Imagination and Creativity: The desire and capacity to find out what you don’t know, to think about what could be, and to bring those imaginings to fruition.
  9. Different Perspectives & Complementary Strengths: We are often attracted to people who share our beliefs, our culture, and our skills, but in my experience the best partners are those whose gifts and points of view complement each other (i.e. neither conflict nor overlap).
  10. Self-Knowledge, and Knowledge of Others’ Capacities: Knowing which capacities you have, and which you lack, and what you know, and what you don’t, and what others can do better than you can, is enormously important to collaboration and love, especially in coping with challenges.
  11. Love, Respect and Trust: Most of us love and trust those who love and trust us in return. The alternative is dysfunctional and dangerous, a recipe for either abuse or co-dependency.
  12. BGP: Beauty, grace and presence: Deny it all you want, we all prefer to be with people who are attractive, gracious, charismatic, and energizing. Some are naturally more gifted at this than others, but we can all improve, with practice.

As I was compiling this list it occurred to me that these are also the qualities we, as writers, hope to attract and bring out in our readers, and the qualities that, as readers, we value in good writers.

So now you know, dear readers, why I love you so much I am compelled, out of joy and the privilege of your attention and the desire to keep you coming back, to write my heart out, every day, a total so far of 5,000 pages, 25 books’ worth of what I know and think and care about. I think you, those of you who stick around, exemplify these twelve qualities.

And your attention and appreciation, more than anything else, has informed and defined my journey to learn and discover and convey and start to make a difference in this world. This blog really has been, from the start, a collaboration, a partnership with you.

I’m honoured to be in your company, dear collaborators and partners in love and conversation and community.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Image from DoggyBloggy.com

Category: Let-Self-Change
Posted in Collapse Watch | 5 Comments

Saturday Links of the Week — February 9, 2008

bastish snow in japan
and you thought you had a lot of snow…Kevin Cameron’s recent photo of snow in Japan.

Love Conversation Community

What Do We Want From Love?: My Second Life partner-in-crime Mia asks whether what men and women expect and demand from love is different, and if that affects how they relate in community.

And Do We Know What We Want at All?: Patti Digh brilliantly suggests that as important as it is to ask for what we want, to strive for what we want, the snag is often that we really don’t know what that is. 37days is now officially my favourite blog in the world.

Defining Friendship, or Not: Pohangina Pete McGregor plays a bit with us, after promising to define or explain what friendship means to him. But in the end, as always, he delivers. His prose is pure poetry, and his photography is divine. Show, don’t tell.

Business Innovation

Innovation Book Now Free: Frans Johansson’s book The Medici Effect, on how innovation happens at intersections, which I’ve review on this blog, is now available for free download.

Environment

We Have to Think Differently About the Environment: An interesting report says political activism won’t save the environment, that it will take a whole new (or old) way of thinking. Sharon Astyk says we should follow the ‘church model’ (engaging the community) of activism (thanks to David Parkinson for the link). And one enviro community, FactorE Farm, has developed an ‘open source’ clay brick maker that could make environmentally responsible building more affordable.

Most Biofuels Use More Energy Than They Produce: Meanwhile, two new studies reveal the corn ethanol craze for the corporatist scam it really is.

Don’t Watch This Video: Institutional animal abuse is endemic in Big Ag oligopoly factory farms, with the complicity of the Bush regime and the impotent USDA,but the infamous video at least is waking up some people to this atrocity. Please don’t watch it; the article tells you all you need to know.

Politics

Afghan Insanity: Canada continues to risk its soldiers’ lives to prop up a corrupt, torturing misogynist Afghan regime. A journalist is about to be executed there by the government for questioning the fundamentalists’ view of marriage.

Clinton’s Health Plan More Inclusive Than Obama’s: That’s the only real difference in platforms between them that I can see. Of course neither plan is likely to make it through the corpocratic US blockades.

Posted in Our Culture / Ourselves | 1 Comment

Friday Flashback: Figments of Reality

Sophie Sheppard
Two years ago, I wrote a two part review of Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen’s 1997 book Figments of Reality:

The compelling thesis of the book:

Living species, including humans, are emergent properties of (what Daniel Dennett has labeled) the ‘pandemonium’ of the body’s semi-autonomous processes — ‘We’ are a complicity of the separately-evolved creatures in our bodies organized for their mutual benefit i.e. we are an organism. And our brains, our intelligence, awareness, consciousness and free-will, are nothing more than an evolved, shared, feature-detection system jointly developed to advise these creatures’ actions for their mutual benefit. Our brains, and our minds (the processes that our neurons, senses and motility organs carry out collectively) are their information-processing system, not ‘ours’.

For those looking to understand why they’re not entirely in control of their own behaviour, and enthusiasts of the issue of ‘free will’, read my review and then pick up a copy of the book. When you see yourself as a complicity and not as an entity, it changes your whole worldview, andgives you a new appreciation of Gaia — how the world really works.

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The Future of the World

wild horses chernobyl
Some time ago several people sent me the photo above, of wild horses in an abandoned area near Chornobyl, on the Ukraine/Belarus border. Animals in the area after the nuclear plant explosion 22 years ago died horrible deaths (their thyroids literally disintegrated) but gradually animals that spend only part of their time in the radioactive zone have returned and now flourish. Much of the area has been declared a nature preserve (though the Ukraine proposes to use it as a profitable dump site for nuclear waste for other countries) and the horses above were introduced deliberately — they are not feral animals, but a rare species (Przewalski’s) that has never been domesticated. Animals in the area are still radioactive (and would be toxic to eat) but those born with deformities are apparently being naturally removed from the gene pool.

And now, in our desperation to keep the unsustainable going, just a little longer, we are re-embracing nuclear energy as the great hope for combating global warming. I can only shrug. There is no point arguing with those who cannot and will not hear.

It occurred to me, looking at these magnificent animals in this strange, beautiful, poison place, that this is what the world will look like, in the not too distant future, when the human species is gone (or reduced to marginal, harmless numbers on the downside of the bell curve).

And I recalled John Gray’s words:

We can dream of a world in which a greatly reduced human population lives in a partially restored paradise; in which farming has been abandoned and green deserts given back to the earth; where the remaining humans are settled in cities, emulating the noble idleness of hunter-gatherers, their needs met by new technologies that leave little mark on the Earth; where life is given over to curiosity, pleasure and play. There is nothing technically impossible about such a world…A High-tech Green utopia, in which a few humans live happily in balance with the rest of life, is scientifically feasible; but it is humanly unimaginable. If anything like this ever comes about, it will not be through the will of homo rapiens.

It is not of becoming the planet’s wise stewards that Earth-lovers dream, but of a time when humans have ceased to matter.

Homo rapiens is only one of very many species, and not obviously worth preserving. Later or sooner, it will become extinct. When it is gone Earth will recover. Long after the last traces of the human animal have disappeared, many of the species it is bent on destroying will still be around, along with others that have yet to spring up. The Earth willforget mankind. The play of life will go on.

Posted in Collapse Watch | 4 Comments