(Something light to mark the first anniversary of How to Save the World.)


Explosion, Bodily Injury and/or Property Damage may result if these instructions are ignored!

Congratulations on the purchase of this fine product. With proper care and handling it will give you a lifetime of carefree and enjoyable service! Please note it is your responsibility to see that it is properly assembled, installed and cared for.

Secure hair above shoulder length. Secure or remove loose clothing, and jewelry or clothing with loosely hanging ties, straps, tassels etc. They can be caught in moving parts. Long pants and sleeves, boots and gloves, and safety leg guards are recommended when operating. Always wear eye protection. DO NOT operate barefoot or while wearing sandals.

DO NOT operate when you are tired, ill, or under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or medication. Wear hearing protection if you regularly use it more than 1 – 1 1/2 hours per day.

If you smell a foul odour coming from this device, immediately shut it off and extinguish any open flame. If odour continues, immediately call the fire department and evacuate small children and pets from the vicinity. Then carefully test for leaks. Do not check for leaks with a match or open flame.

Very fine materials may clog up this product and prevent it from working properly. Ensure filters are properly installed and functioning to prevent such materials from damaging this unit. Replace the old bag when it becomes full and no longer provides adequate suction.

Never use blades or flailing devices with this product. Objects impacted can cause blindness or injury. Keep firm footing and balance at all times. Do not over-reach. Do not raise the center of balance of the unit above your waist. Never leave it unattended while in operation.

Warning: Loose screws or wing nuts can cause product to unwind and may result in damage or injury. Inspect carefully before each use to ensure all connections are secure.

Always start this unit in ‘full choke’ position. Remain erect while operating. Do not bend over — injury may result.

Keep combustible materials, people and animals at least 50 feet away while operating. Keep oil and grease off working surfaces. Product comes pre-oiled and needs no further lubrication to operate properly. Keep operating area well ventilated and never smoke while operating. Do not use in garages, sheds, or breezeways. Do not install or use in recreational vehicles or boats.

Product must be equipped with a safety relief valve. Failure to install and use this valve voids your warranty.

If your model has an (optional) Viewing Window: Do not use sharp tools to remove sales materials from Viewing Window, and avoid using in heavy rain. If Window shatters, any food in the area should not be eaten.

Before each use, look for and replace damaged and loose parts. After each use, scrub thoroughly with a long-handled brass brush. Do not use commercial oven cleaners. Spiders’ webs can block flow – remove with pipe cleaner.

Break product in gently before first major use. Avoid serious impact. Keep it level and stable at all times. Move only with extreme care. Some intermittent snapping and popping noises are normal. Do not allow a fixed picture to remain on the screen for a prolonged period.

Shock, or sparks visible at contact points, is evidence of improper grounding. If snow is visible, you may be operating in a fringe area.

If this unit is to remain unused for an extended period of time, it should be lightly oiled, wrapped in paper and stored in a cool, dry place.

And as with any dangerous and complex equipment, keep this product out of reach of children.

We hope you enjoy your new purchase. Should you encounter any problems during assembly or operation, our friendly 24-hour service staff will be pleased to resolve them to your complete satisfaction.

Postscript Warning: The exhaust from this product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and other reproductive harm.

(All of the ‘warnings’ in this post have been taken verbatim from various manuals for household appliances that, for some reason, I have kept)

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  1. Conor says:

    No doubt, parked in a landfill near you.

  2. mark says:

    Happy blogiversity!

  3. says:

    Dave,Glad you posted these. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve continued to eat, even though my Windows 2000 has shattered. ;-)

Comments are closed.